Change the Way You See Love

With my work station facing the west, only the glass wall separated me from the sunset. I was seated at a perfect vantage point. At first, the sunburst drapes from the stratocumulus openings. It gave an alternating shade of light and dusk to the mountain ridges that bedeck the foreground. Then, as the sun disappears from the horizon, vivid hue of red and orange painted the blue welkin. A stunning contrast that was.

The clinks of the keyboard keys were the only sound that dominated the room. Mouse clicks competed in a rather incompatible rhythm.

Since it was a Friday, my officemates left early; returning to their hometowns and getting reunited with their families. I was left alone at work.

The Sad Reality

While shuttling between my desktop and report printouts, I noticed my phone flickered from my peripheral sight. My mom texted that my sister gave birth to a baby girl.

I did not consider it a good news—not a bad news, either. I was confused. I was depressed. I was a bit upset.

I was aware that my sister stopped from schooling when she learned she was pregnant. However, my mind was still very resistant on accepting that fact.

Memories rushed back. A marquee of childhood photographs and vintage animations rolled like phantasms. I remembered how the innocent and seemingly timid young girl transformed into a fine and intelligent lass.

The family had high hopes on her. I also recalled her implicit promise to get a degree and help me out from my bondage. Yes, being an eldest, I was tied with the responsibilities I inherited from my parents.

I helped sending two of my sisters to college and I made a lot of sacrifices by doing so. I did not go on a date. I minimized my travels. I couldn’t even allocate a small amount for savings. So, when one of them conceived, I was totally hurt and disappointed.

I didn’t confront her. She didn’t talk to me as well. But despite the disappointment, I totally understood. I was completely aware that she was still young, and she might be equally perplexed and sad. She needed more support more than anyone else in the family.

The Moment of Revolt

But still, I reduced my remittance for few months. I thought of it as punishment. I also didn’t bother to go home.

I spent holidays and weekends on travels, connecting with friends, and crossing out items on my bucket list. I’d been to backpacking trips overseas without even informing my parents. That was an era of my revolt.

There was a long period of disconnection. Until one time, I suddenly missed everyone at home.

The Teary Acceptance

After a year, I visited my hometown.

I immediately noticed this young child practicing her first walk. She plodded towards me and gave a tight yet gentle grip on my jeans. She looked at me curiously and tried to recognize me.

I met my niece for the first time. Her eyes were beautiful and her smiles were genuine, contagious as they seemed.

I did not notice that I shed tears until I saw droplets on her cute cheeks. My reluctance was overpowered. I reached her side with both hands, lifted her up, and carried her snuggly with my arms.

We have a new angel in the family. And yes, my sister named her Angelica.

Her giggles positively affects everyone. She’s the entertainer during family gatherings and the spreader of good vibes.

I believe that is what love is all about—acceptance, forgiveness, compassion, and understanding. Family always weigh better than individual happiness and sacrifices.

I fully forgave my sister and fervently accepted our young angel. I believe that is what love is all about—acceptance, forgiveness, compassion, and understanding. Family always weigh better than individual happiness and sacrifices.

I know I will stay long as breadwinner and running away is now out of context.

Possible Journey Log

We want to show the world that the child who was unwanted at first brings back the warmth and compassion in the family.

I wish I had a Huawei P9 those days. I could have documented Angel’s stories, including the time she uttered her first word, the moment she first walk, the instant she called me “manoy” or “kuya” (not uncle or “tito“), and all other surprising moments. Huawei P9 features fast and high resolution dual-lens camera in partnership with Leica, thus getting a snap of Angel’s awe-moments will be clear and vivid.

Currently, Angel is now 3 years old but she remained our baby. Keeping a record of her journey is never too late. We want to show the world that the child who was unwanted at first brings back the warmth and compassion in the family.

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